206902
Joke of the Day
"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess a snail makes?"
Next Joke
"The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor"
"WIFE: I'm tired of you living in a fantasy world ME: *imagining she's Kate Upton* You always say that, Kate WIFE: Who is Kate? WHO IS KATE?"
"Auto correct can go straight to He'll"
"Doggies just call it style."
"At the Republican convention they kept telling everyone to stop with the Bush-bashing... Who are they to tell me what I can and can't do in the bedroom!?"
"""The top of my toliet seat is uncomfortable to sit on. I want it to feel like my living room floor"" - inventor of carpet toliet seat covers"
"the worst part of the robot uprising will be the constant software updates"
"I think I speak for Earth when I say that I'm ready for Justin Bieber to turn to hard drugs and squander his wealth, eventually losing fame."
"WHEN DO WE STOP COUNTING BACKWARDS I'M AT LIKE NEGATIVE 42,360"