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Joke of the Day

"What are terrorists taught in math class? Jihadmetry. What do they learn about? ISISciles triangles."

"How many ears does Spock have? Three. A right ear, a left ear, and a final frontier."

"What is a pirate's favorite drink? The HI-C! (punchline must be said in proper pirate voice) (this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)"

"If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house."

"Nobody wants to talk about the elephant in the waiting room, but he has an appointment."

"Who took care of German army dogs after the war? Veteran Aryans"

"Ellen pao and reddit admins walk into a bar... Everyone was happy to see them and had a great time once they were there... Ill also accept ...and then the bar burned down..."

"If my glass is half full then I start wondering where my bartender is."

"i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before"

"Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that criminal? Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect."