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Joke of the Day

"Relationship status: I shout ""PIZZA'S HERE"" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself."

"How do you know when you should get a puppy? When life's getting a little ruff ...I'll see myself out"

"What kind of pizzas can tell the future? Medium Pizzas"

"Molestation Such a touchy subject"

"Still not sure if construction paper is used in construction."

"Black holes suck. Think about it."

"If someone is born deaf and dumb, blind, has no arms or legs.... Can we actually call him a piece of meat?"

"The teacher asked Jimmy, ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"What did the crop say to the Farmer? Why are you picking on me?"

"I wish people who take selfies or make amateur porn would clean up their room first."