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Joke of the Day

"Relationship status: I shout ""PIZZA'S HERE"" so the delivery guy doesn't think I'm eating two pizzas by myself."

"how did the ghost get to the hospital? in the amBOOlance"

"I recently found out that I'm colorblind... It came out of the purple."

"Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events? He's been living under The Rock."

"I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday. It said ""concentrate."""

"If you text me in all CAPS, I will assume we are meeting In the street to fight in the near future."

"There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you."

"what do you call a male suppository? A manpon"

"Why does Santa Claus have such a large sack? He only comes once a year."

"Me: I couldn't eat another thing. Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some."