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Joke of the Day

"If someone is born deaf and dumb, blind, has no arms or legs.... Can we actually call him a piece of meat?"

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish."

"If Russia were to invade Turkey from behind... Do you think Greece would help?"

"Columbia is the new Miss Universe"

"Told my kids to get rid of toys they don't play with, so if you hear a commotion it's just them desperately playing with every toy they own."

"Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you? Because he was born in a barn."

"If you've never heard a 9 minute version of ""Girl From Ipanema"", then you weren't just inside my head while my co-worker was talking to me."

"What do you call a nun in space? Virgin Galactic"

"I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with."

"A giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls are on me!"""