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Joke of the Day

"When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President."

"Jared Fogle was given 15 years in prison today... He was reportedly ok with it, and when reached for comment stated ""As long as it's under 18."""

"Where does spaghetti go to dance? The meatball."

"Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body."

"Female aliens are invading earth and kidnapping men with large cocks. You're in no danger. I'm just writing you to say goodbye."

"Wow the weather sure is getting cool *A cloud rolls by wearing sunglasses and smoking an unfiltered cigarette*"

"What do you call a female cop that shaves her vag? A Cunt stubble"

"I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then."

"[Job interview] ""Under ""skills"" you have odd compliments."" ""You look like you'd have soft bones. ""Thank you?"""

"I was gonna make a joke about the internet... But Why Would We need it"