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Joke of the Day

"Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body."

"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""

"I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga."

"I don't give out fake number anymore. I just tell them to find me on facebook."

"How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth? Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom."

"Did you Hear About the Paper Joke? It was tear-ible"

"Unemployment rate went down to historic lows I think I might switch my major to art -No one ever"

"A guy dressed as a Chicken for Halloween finds a girl dressed as an egg. Apparently the answer is Chicken. (Edit: Typo)"

"Just left a note on the ex's car saying ""I STILL LOVE YOU"" hope it doesn't go unnoticed. I keyed it in pretty deep."

"A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing."