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Joke of the Day

"Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang."

"What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie? A messy cage."

"Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House? So she can be pardoned."

"Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... Unless you're in prison."

"Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work"

"Old milk is just like cold milk Except you didn't c what you were getting into."

"Why is it called ""Alien vs Predator""? Isn't predator an alien too? They should've just called it ""Some Aliens"""

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"What do you call a serial killer that plays bingo? Jeffery Dauber."

"Ever heard of the movie ""Constipation""? Nope. --- That's because it hasn't come out yet."