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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to donate these clothes I don't wear anymore to charity after I drive them around in the trunk of my car for eight months."

"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"

"What do you call an onion with no shoes?"

"anyone here with one leg? i have a ton of socks you can have"

"Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players."

"A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill. Whoever lost a Rolex I report ""the time now is 20 minutes after seven"""

"My coworker got third-degree burns on his tongue. I was going to make a joke about it, but decided it would be in poor taste."

"What was 2016? The best joke I've ever heard!"

"In my bed, it's perpetual motion all night long, baby."

"When your friend wants to do a drive by but none of us can see that good at night anymore."