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Joke of the Day
"They say you are what you eat.. But I don't remember eating a PATHETIC FAILURE."
Next Joke
"how to comfort a grammar Nazi: Pat their shoulder and say, ""Their, They're, There."""
"""You're what you eat"" So say hello to your new Mum ;)"
"What do you call a pansexual guy named Nick who works at a cd store? Pan nick at the disc co."
"Why shouldn't you give Muslim Women drugs? They'll get stoned. (Ba-dum tss)"
"What did the Squirtle say to the Charmander? (X-post from /r/pokemon) Squirtle"
"How did the paramedics know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove box"
"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."
"Women have more than one connection to lungs. If you put a finger inside the vagina it feels like suffocating to them."
"A pharmacy was just robbed. A pharmacy was just robbed $500,000. Security camera footage recorded the criminal taking 2 bottles of aspirin and a Zoloft."