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Joke of the Day

"Reports just in that the police have seized a Catholic Priest's computer. They claim that they are looking for a certain file. A .PDO file if you will."

"What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time."

"Apparently Michael Jackson was also a gifted baseball player. He was big in the minors."

"""Ducklings are baby ducks,"" I say as I set the appetizer on the table. ""Enjoy your dumplings, Ma'am."""

"What does one star say to another star when they meet? Glad to meteor!"

"The England squad have been receiving death threats and this morning they awoke to find a horses head. Fortuneatly, it was only Wayne Rooney asleep."

"Why couldn't the rainbow trout get on the same level as his father? Because he was too flambouyant."

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? *unique* up on it!"

"A man boards a plane. An attractive flight attendant walks towards the man and asks: ""Would you like some headphones?"" The man replies: ""Yes, but how did you know my name was Phones?"""

"If you don't drink, smoke or do drugs you may live long enough to be a real burden to loved ones. Please pass the wine."