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Joke of the Day

"If you don't drink, smoke or do drugs you may live long enough to be a real burden to loved ones. Please pass the wine."

"What does a virgin woman and a shotgun have In common? One cock and they're ready to burst. EDIT: grammar, thanks /u/J7T12"

"a disability, a curse word and a radical interpretation of scripture walk into a bar nothing happened welcome to /r/cleanjokes"

"Q: What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens? A: Oh-lay!"

"Did you hear about the girl who went fishing with her six male friends? She came home with a red snapper!"

"The hardest part of having sex again after you have recently been widowed is.... Gettin there before the rigor mortis sets in."

"How many conspiratards does it take to screw in a light bulb....? ""NONE! ITS A SECRET GOVERNMENT PLOT TO KEEP US IN THE DARK!"""

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I have never wanted to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth."

"Why did Dracula miss lunch? Because he didn't fancy the stake."

"There are two types of people in the world: those who need closure"