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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the rainbow trout get on the same level as his father? Because he was too flambouyant."

"Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that's just wine."

"What do you tell a worried guitar? Don't fret"

"Hey girl, are you a Marxist revolutionary? Cos I'd like you to seize control of my means of production."

"[opens fortune cookie] -You will have a great night ""aw, that's neat, wait there's more"" [unrolls note further] marish clown assassinate you"

"You're 16 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 3 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating crayons."

"I had a one night stand with a girl who liked having pitchers of urine dumped on her head. It was a piss poor experience"

"There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict."

"Excuse me, do you like graves? Yeah, I dig 'em."

"5: I cleaned my room. Me: Great! Do you feel good? Sometimes it makes me feel good when I clean something. 5: No. Next time you can do it."