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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!"

"Who may become a Prime Minister? Theresa may."

"Accidentally pressed the soap dispenser instead of the toothpaste. Mouth feels clean but I don't think I'll be able to curse today. Shucks."

"What do you do with an epileptic in a bathtub? Laundry."

"Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily."

"If only the first rule of Vegan club Was not to talk about Vegan club"

"We were making out on the couch and She's like ""Let's take this upstairs"" I'm like ""Ok you grab one side and I'll grab the other!"""

"God only gives you what you can handle. Really? Because I'm pretty sure I could handle way more money."

"Do you ever play a song and then realise you were too distracted to appreciate the beauty of the song so you replay it?"

"What do you call a gay Yeti A snow blower!"