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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to be a politician... But then I realized that I couldn't fit my entire head up my ass."

"I was going to make a joke about salt ,but then i thought . . . Na"

"It's not fair that women make 77 cents for every dollar a man makes... ...that only leaves 23 cents for the guy!"

"Witty Vachan on Twitter, This is hilarious https://twitter.com/WittyVachan/status/636626830607282176"

"You will go to hell for reading this. How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice? After you're done wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon."

"Why be on time when I can make shitty excuses?"

"What did Jesus say to the flock of sheep? I herd that."

"I'm writing a horror story. It's about a girl who forgets her headphones and her colleagues think it's ok to talk to her. So much blood."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was a salted."