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Joke of the Day

"If I answer you with my voice two octaves higher than normal, ""whaaaaat?!"" then one octave lower than normal, ""noooooo,"" the answer was yes."

"Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia? Because he's snowed-in"

"Remember those girls in college who neatly highlighted all of their text books in pink? They work at the cosmetic counter at Macy's now."

"Civil War Jokes? Most of them are General-Lee stupid."

"Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin, it tastes the same but you know it ain't quite right."

"What does a chef call an undercover cop? Pig in a blanket."

"I wish I was your math homework Then I'd be hard and you'd do me on the desk."

"i always struggle using sarcasm with kleptomaniacs they always take things. literally."

"SRS bait. How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"An Irish man walks out of a bar... Has never happened."