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Joke of the Day

"What do a woman and a refrigerator have in common? They both leak when they're fucked."

"Q: I'm hungry. A: Nice to meet you, Hungry!"

"You know you're getting old when ... the doctor tells you to slow down and the cops tell you to speed up."

"Wait...the ""S"" in ASAP doesn't stand for ""Slowly?"" Shit. This has cost me 27, maybe 28 jobs."

"Anyone need a job? I hear Malaysia Airlines is looking for people. ^im ^so ^sorry"

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag? hint: take the ""S"" out of ""safe"" and the ""F"" out of ""way"""

"When should you buy a bird? When it's going Cheep."

"What is Cersei Lannister's favorite American city? Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love."

"How many feminists do you need to screw in a lightbulb? None. Lightbulbs promote rape culture."