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Joke of the Day

"Use this to start a conversation with a stranger. ""On a hot day nothing feels more relaxing then butt chugging a slushy. Say, do you have a funnel?"""

"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."

"So Halloween is fast approaching... Where I can get one of those cool Guy Fieri masks that all the anarchists are wearing?"

"What's black and white and red all over? After it was stuck in traffic because of protesters blocking the freeway: a police car."

"Who are the fastest readers? 9/11 victims. They got through over 40 stories in seconds."

"My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously cliche... I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?"

"A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand ...and says, ""Make me one with everything."""

"What does Garfield like in his bed? Pussy"

"I saw a guy at the beach yelling ' Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed at him... I knew that shark wasn't going to help him."

"Did you hear about the guy who'd just broken up with his Asian girlfriend? He felt a little disoriented."