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Joke of the Day

"I don't consider it a good night out if it doesn't end up as a super villain's origin story"

"What do you call the TMNTs doing stand up comedy? April's Fools!!!"

"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"

"This girls skirt is so short I can see how many times her dad missed a dance recital from here."

"I had a really funny joke... but autocorrect ruined the lunchtime"

"You have some up dog on your shoe!! So I was in class one day and my friend turned to me and said, ""You have some up dog on your shoe"" ""What's up dog"" was my response. ""Not much bro, how about you!!!"""

"Me: Ugh! I never know what to say in these situations... Friend: You say 'good morning' back"

"Baby snake (OC) What do you call a snake that always hangs around its mom? A momma's boa."

"I made a list on how to do an impersonation of Victor Meldrew a) Don't b) Leave it"

"Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what's going on and you just nod"