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Joke of the Day

"Girls treat guys like monkey bars. They don't let go of the last one until they got a grip on the next one."

"I Like My Rum Like I Like My Woman... 12 Years Old And Mixed Up With Coke."

"I usually roll around in the magazine aisle at Barnes and Noble before a date because I want to smell nice, but I'm on a budget."

"The most important thing in life is to be yourself, unless you can be Batman...always go with Batman"

"My Wife made me choose between her, and my Love of Pointing out Doors ""If you want to leave"" I told her, ""There's the Door"""

"So Trump wants to ban Muslims. But if prohibition has taught me anything it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."

"""Is Phil coming tonight?"" ""Phil Smith or Phil that has the eyesight of a bird?"" *suddenly a man runs face first into the sliding glass door*"

"No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter."

"Whats the difference between Hospitality and Business? One will help you and the other will help you be an asshole"

"I was on holiday in Belgium... Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said ""you lost something "". ""What?"" I asked surprised. ""The war"" he replied."