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Joke of the Day

"I love being a mosquito... People always clap when I'm around!"

"I've started seeing someone about my porn addiction. Her name's Brandy."

"A woman's shoes say a lot about her feelings believe it or not. For example, if they're behind her ears, she likes you."

"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Can you make me one with everything?"

"Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats"

"My wife asked my why i carry a gun in the house. I looked at her and said ""Decepticons"". She laughed, i laughed, the toaster laughed, i shot the toaster. It was a good time."

"What do you call someone who reads in the sun? Well Red."

"'You'll go to hell for that joke' *in Hell Me: What did you do? Hitler: Genocide, what did you do? Me: Dunno tweeted a joke"

"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back I don't know how big this thing gets!"

"Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people."