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Joke of the Day

"Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats"

"Eskimos.. What do eskimos do when it gets cold? They go into their igloos and sit around a candle. What do they do when it gets even colder? They turn on the candle."

"Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun."

"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night-First question was What the f*ck are you looking at?"

"You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem"

"Thank you for defining the word 'many' for me. It means a lot."

"""There's a horse in my leg?! Why are you taking out my Adam's Apple? What's wrong with my nose?""- Guy from 'Operation'"

"Batman's new movie costume has a clock on the utility belt... Personally, I think it's a waist of time."

"I was being recruited for suicide bombing... I asked the recruiter, ""what are the perks of being a suicide bomber?"" And he replied, ""well, for starters, you get to go all over the place!"""

"Ok so we get a deaf cat hear me out."