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Joke of the Day

"Math joke: Why can't you derivate a social scientist? Because they don't have a function"

"Brother: *calls* Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow? Me: Sure. Can't wait to see you. Him: I land at 5 AM. Me: I have no brother."

"They say your memory is the first thing to go But I can't remember losing that"

"What do you call a threesome with two guys and a girl? ...a DVD."

"C'mon, when have I ever let you down? That was rhetorical, actually. Yes, that is a lot. Wow, did not expect you to bring out a chalkboard."

"""Doctor, how bad is it?"" ""I mean, you're just not a great singer. I don't know why you needed a doctor to confirm for you, but there it is."""

"A terrible plane crash occurred in Lithuania last week. A two-seater airplane crash landed in a cemetery and exploded. They've recovered 300 bodies so far, and they're still digging them up."

"[Racist] How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb None.They just beat the room for being black."

"Was Hitler really such a bad guy? After all, he did kill Hitler."

"They say ""once you go black, you never go back,"" but.. If it's Hispanic, you know it's *gigantic!*"