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Joke of the Day

"Your mother Fucks for bricks to build your sister a whore house."

"I just had a brush with Death Is it weird to name your toothbrush?"

"Do you know what really burns my ass? A flame about 3 feet high."

"My good friend is the world's best hitman... ...earning over $10 million each year. He really makes a killing."

"Kinky is when you bring a feather into the bedroom. Perverted is when you bring the whole chicken."

"A husband and a wife were at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"""

"I couldn't figure out how to use my seatbelt.. Then it clicked."

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet, but there's an alarming discrepancy in the number of Ipads I've won & the number of Ipads I own."

"First Ebola and now Measles... Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?"

"Salary is like a period you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week."