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Joke of the Day
"I just had a brush with Death Is it weird to name your toothbrush?"
Next Joke
"2016 Election Honestly hurricane Matthew should run for president because I think he left the biggest mark on the country"
"Over all these years, you'd think I'd remember how important the ""L"" in clock is...especially when asking mom if I can borrow dad's."
"I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?"
"Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer? John Cougar's Melon Camp"
"[sees kid crying in the mall] ""What's wrong?"" ""I'm lost."" ""You're in the mall you little idiot."""
"West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I've been shot in the arm."
"The coolest Superhero would be The Inaudible Woman."
"Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off..."
"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"