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Joke of the Day
"Why are Subway footlongs only 11 inches? Because Jared likes his meat in smaller buns."
Next Joke
"What do you get if you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow? Brown-chicken-brown-coooow [sounding like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R0aM2QHiFU)"
"Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson"
"What did the leper say to the hooker? You can keep the tip."
"I want a Michael Corleone in the streets and a horse head in the sheets."
"What is the best way to manage a full inbox? Hillary Clinton"
"So my ex-wife is a bird lover... she always wanted a black cockatoo"
"I planted a whole garden full of bird seed this year and not one bird came up. I quit."
"*sees happy person* Can u stop that"
"Drink triple. See double. Act single."