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Joke of the Day

"[job interview] Interviewer: ""Describe yourself in 2 words."" Me: ""Atinubs. Econsibu."" Interviewer: ""You're hired. Welcome to CAPTCHA."""

"What's the difference between a stripclub and a circus? One has cunning stunts and the other has stunning cunts."

"My mom said that my room was really foul smelling. I told her to suck it up"

"When I wss a kid I got kicked out of the Boy Scouts For eating a Brownie."

"Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times"

"I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone. I shouted ""Morning!"" He replied ""No, just pooping."""

"What do you call a grain knife? barleysong"

"Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work."

"Death be not proud. Death not so great with words, but happy to go out with any girl you want fix Death up with."

"Why doesn't, ""I have a headache!"" work for when I don't want to mow the yard?"