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Joke of the Day

"I was walking through a graveyard this morning and saw a man squatting by a tombstone. I shouted ""Morning!"" He replied ""No, just pooping."""

"When you're Russian... There's no time for Stalin"

"Why do meth heads love Halloween? Three sleeps 'till Christmas!"

"My wife told me to prepare our ginger son for his first day at school. So I beat him up and took his dinner money off him."

"Guy: you've been a bad girl. Girl: yes baby, punish me. Guy: OK. *burns all her shoes*."

"[MORBID] What do black people and apples have in common? They both look better hanging."

"What are the level differences between nannies? Answer: the A level nannies suggest leafy vegetables... But the B nannies force kale."

"Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it."

"I sharpened all my kitchen knives today. Now I can't help but slice everything as if I'm in an infomercial."

"I kneed a knee pun Title says it all: any knee puns to go on a joke t-shirt for someone recovering post-acl surgery? Thanks!"