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Joke of the Day

"Getting a woman: 1.Select the woman u like 2. Lick her face 3. She is now yours take her home HAHAHAHAHAHA I've been arrested 10 times"

"Cyclists want to be treated like motorists until there's a red light. Then all of a sudden they're pedestrians."

"There is a new Apple product in the Rogue One teaser trailer We don't know what it is yet, but at least now we know its name... ""iRebel"""

"First date with a hummingbird: You're moving too fast."

"I'm going to a trial in Great Sept of Baelor today, AMA. Edit: Wow, this blew up!"

"How can you tell if a witch is on a diet? Her food is potion-controlled."

"Where does Jon Bon Jovi reside? --- HE'S LIVING ON A PRAIRIE"

"You need Jesus in your life... that lawn won't mow by itself"

"Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord? Because it was baroquen."

"""So you think you can dance."" should be the title of a Lifetime movie about strippers."