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Joke of the Day
"My mom said that my room was really foul smelling. I told her to suck it up"
Next Joke
"What happened when Helium told a joke? There was no reaction"
"25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. Which is really scary because that means that 75% are running around untreated."
"Got in a fight with my wife while camping... It was in tents."
"*in an interview* Me: Tell me a time when you really struggled in your previous job. Applicant: 5-7PM po. Me: Applicant: 8PM. Me:"
"Dates are like golf strokes The fewer it takes for you to score, the better your game."
"My girlfriend left because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impression. But don't worry... I'll return."
"Man in fatigues w SONY written on his forehead has handcuffed me&my sons to radiator & is forcing us to watch 8th Spider-Man reboot in 3 yrs"
"Its not drinking alone if the highway patrol has informed you they're calling for back up."
"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"