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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Rabbi stop buying beer? Hebrewed his own"

"I was trying to make a black guy joke. But it didnt work"

"What's the difference between a crackhead and a John? A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him."

"My job keeps asking me to sign up for a marathon. I keep telling them I can't. I'm out of shape, I have weak knees, and 401k is a long way to run."

"I've never wanted a mansion. Not because I'm modest- I just don't need more places to lose my keys."

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat. Then I remember they just feed off attention."

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"The only two things I hate are Racism and The Portuguese"

"My girlfriend says that small penis isn't that big of a problem But I still think that she shouldn't have one."