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Joke of the Day
"How do you wake a sleeping Lady Gaga? You poke poke poker face"
Next Joke
"I was going to make one of those Bitstrips cartoons, but then I decided to pick the lint out of my belly button instead. I'm pretty sure I came out ahead"
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles."
"Mom thinks I run google :D [Mom thinks I run google - My Funny Mom](http://www.etcpb.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Mom-thinks-I-run-google.jpg)"
"4 y/o: how does Santa go to everyone's house in one night me: warp speed 4 y/o: warp speed isn't real me: neither is Santa go to sleep"
"I wouldn't call it 'passive aggressive', but I do send the glitter Christmas cards to the people who annoy me."
"Why do Scuba divers fall backwards into the water? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be in the boat"
"What did the guy with leprosy say to the prostitute? Keep the tip"
"I've got a job for Victoria... Well, *had* a job..."
"I swallowed a live bee the other day It turned into quite an intra-sting situation."