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Joke of the Day

"A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste."

"I'm convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child."

"Can you believe they got back together after all that shit? MY BUTT CHEEKS!!!"

"I started dating this girl online who says she's from Turkey but I'm starting to doubt her. It was definitely Instant-bull."

"Taught my grandmother that ""Jabroni"" means ""fine young man"" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting."

"Who is the commander of cheese? Sargento"

"Can't afford those fancy water parks, so I just throw cups of water in my kids faces when they least expect it."

"People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses."

"Why can't Russia extradite US top-secret whistle-blowers? Because they're Snowden (snowed-in). To all the folks on the East coast, stay safe and warm."

"How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it!"