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Joke of the Day

"PIRATE CORN: $12/DOZEN"

"What's the hardest thing in the morning? Getting your mom to leave!!! Ooooo Thought it'd be a penis joke, didn't ya. Those are to easy"

"Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing? He had deadlines to meet"

"Did you hear about Mr and Mrs Ballbearing? Yeah, they just had a BB."

"Just so you know, I have an Epi pen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying. It seemed very important to him that I should have it."

"Mr. Habbits overdosed on dick pills old habbits die hard"

"Shout out to my body for reminding me that, while I'm too old to have the tiny waist of a 15yo, I'm not too old for a pimple on the forehead"

"I am like an electron.... My wife can only make guesses at my precise location by means of a probability function"

"There are two rules for success... 1. Never reveal everything that you know."

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do i pass by you again."