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Joke of the Day

"What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin? They became flatman and ribbon. /u/realhermit has left the building."

"I'm not a great lap dancer, I've got two left cheeks."

"What's the difference between princess Diana and Tiger Woods? Tiger Woods has a better driver"

"When you wear a cardigan for the very first time it's just called a card"

"""I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled ""Ninja School"", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"""

"[Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog."

"The USB port on this cat doesn't work."

"Remember, freedom isn't free. If you're with the military-industrial complex, it can be incredibly profitable."

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"Where do otters come from? Otter space. [credit goes to Anne Carson, or wherever she heard it]"