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Joke of the Day

"The USB port on this cat doesn't work."

"What does a stegosaurus eat off of? His plates. -Jude; My five-year-old son"

"Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft."

"What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!"

"Sometimes I wear a tinfoil hat. I'm not one of those wackjobs, it just makes being in the microwave more interesting."

"[I wake up next to a fishing net full of salmon] But that means... [Cut to fisherman at sea, with my dreamcatcher full of howling goblins]"

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years. C'mon guys, I don't have 2020 vision."

"If you ever see three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument a bank has just been robbed"

"Yeah, bitches! I just sharpened a pencil with a KNIFE. I feel like such a man. I'm gonna go show my mom. BRB"

"They're giving Caitlyn Jenner ANOTHER TV show Apparently, they have her competing in the Olympics again. It's going to be called ""Drag Races""."