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Joke of the Day

"Read about a 60 yr old woman wanting to swim from Florida to Cuba & felt inspired & wanted to help so I emailed her a picture of a boat"

"-Give it to me straight doc. -You'll never walk again. -Now give it to me gay. -You'll never stroll merrily down the boardwalk again."

"A man walks in to a library and asks for a book on Amnesia. The librarian replies, ""fuck off, you'll forget to bring it back"" To which the man replies, ""bring what back?"""

"So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard. The exam the next morning sucked."

"What's a greater Pressure, the impact of Earth hitting the sun, the impact of Earth hitting the moon, or Republican demands for Carson and Kasich to drop out? Please discuss. Thanks."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Matt"

"What makes a good joke timing. ..."

"Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board."

"Did You guys hear what the Jews did when they rioted? They threw Mazel Tov Cocktails"

"Q: If a man's signature is called a John Hancock, what do you call a woman's? A: Historically insignificant."