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Joke of the Day

"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance... Barista: Sir your Caffe Mocha is ready. Me: Oh ok nevermind."

"My family hates it when I swear, but I sound like a child using mild words.... ....damned if I do, darned if I don't"

"What should you do if you find the corpse of a raped woman in the woods? Check your bearings, you're going in circles."

"My GPA.. My GPA is the square root of -16. An imaginary 4.0"

"Me: Santa, why are women so scary? Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me."

"What is the Greek Army's motto? Never leave your buddy's behind."

"What has four wheels and flies? My dead grandmother."

"""Everything you say can and will be used against you"" should be included in marriage vows."

"What do you call it when a Jedi doesn't heat something up fully? Luke warm"

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"