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Joke of the Day

"My dog I bought myself a dog the other day. It's a cross between a shih tzu and a poodle. When people ask me what breed it is I tell them it's a shit poo"

"Have you noticed that jokes starting with have you noticed' are usually shit!"

"a mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of three. he says ""uno, dos..."" and then promptly disappeared without a tres."

"10 years ago, if you would've told me that I'd be having a daughter at 28, I would've murdered you for being a robot from the future."

"Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you."

"You know what I say to people with low fiber diets. Tough shit"

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"Why do white girls hang out in odd numbers? They can't even."

"You've been warned TO WHOEVER STOLE MY BROKEN BATHROOM SCALE. YOU WON'T GET A WEIGH WITH THIS!"

"I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer....... but I just thought that must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. ""Your dog really likes me!!!"" ""I'm so sorry."""