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Joke of the Day

"Why do white girls hang out in odd numbers? They can't even."

"Fat girls are like mopeds. They're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"Matter is the Real MVP m = V * p"

"Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day."

"What do cops and mushrooms have in common? You feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark."

"What's the difference between tumblr and a gun? The gun has only one trigger"

"Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career? She had no sense of porpoise."

"What kind of bees scare neckbeards? Boo-bees."

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids."