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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between dead animals on the road and dead lawyers on the road? Dead animals have skid marks AROUND them"

"Don't be sad dirty dishes, nobody's doing me either."

"Where did little sally go after the explosion? Everywhere"

"Ay girl, are you a Pokemon? Because I wanna take a Pikachu."

"ME: I'm not voting for anyone CLINTON: that's a vote for Trump! TRUMP: that's a vote for Clinton! ME: looks like I'm voting twice then"

"Why did the man wear a diaper to the bar? So he could save his stool."

"You're not a mistake. Mistakes can be fixed. You're hopeless."

"Q: How do you milk sheep? .... .... .... A: With iPhone accessories."

"Why is six afraid lf seven? Because seven just came back from a trip to West Africa."

"I bought a new lock for my bedroom door Wound up getting half off when it didn't work."