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Joke of the Day

"A little about me: I'm a beekeeper. I see a bee, I keep it. I don't care whose bee it is. Should have been watching it better."

"Want to send a 4-year-old boy into a blind rage? Repeatedly tell him he's wrong and you are positive their names are ""Batman and Robert""."

"""You stop crying or I'll give you something to laugh about!"" - clown parents"

"My Dad couldn't pull out of my Mom... ...but at least he could pull out of my life."

"Avocados are like women: soft inside, dinosaur skin outside, big cricket ball in the middle, all the good ones are taken..."

"Anyone who believes in telekinesis... ...raise my hand"

"When a bite of food falls off your plate... And you just stare at it on the ground like, ""We could've made each other happy..."""

"Where do cats go once they have used up all nine of their lives? Purrgatory."

"In Hinduism, cows are sacred, are to be revered and certainly should not be eaten. However, the Christians eat Jesus' corpse."

"What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day. Anal sex makes your hole weak."