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Joke of the Day

"My Dad couldn't pull out of my Mom... ...but at least he could pull out of my life."

"I was holding my cousin's baby when I shouted SPOILER ALERT: LIFE SUCKS & that's why I'm no longer allowed to hold my cousin's baby"

"What do Americans and Putin have in common? They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving."

"""I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition,"" my doctor said. ""Woah, woah, woah, doc,"" I replied. ""Let's not make any rash decisions."""

"What is the speed of sex? 68... because at 69 you have to turn around"

"Greg wins 25,000,000.00 in the nationally lottery and runs home ""Margret, I won the lottery, pack your bags"", ""why Greg, where are we going?"". ""I don't care, pack your bags and get out"" says Greg."

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"

"What do you call a bunch of white guys and a one black man Court"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cole ! Cole who ? Cole as a cucumber !"

"Eat shit dude! No seriously, it's good for your eyes. You've never seen a dog with glasses have you?"