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Joke of the Day

"When I was a child, my dad tried to force-feed me. After a while, my mum said, ""Just use a fcuking spoon, Mike. You're not a Jedi."""

Next Joke
 
"Why is Harry Potter so popular? The story grows on you."
"Whats the most common day to get sick on? Achoosday"
"I wonder. Was the Terminator not always... arniemated?"
"One day my kids will find a ""We're Closed"" sign for a grocery store & ask what it is & I'll sound like the old guy explaining shit in Zelda."
"I eat my hot dogs cold No bun intended"
"How do you kill a hipster? Push them into the mainstream and watch them tumblr"
"(Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*"
"Uber dressed up some of their vehicles as Star Wars Stormtroopers in Manhattan... I wouldn't mind riding one of those. They won't hit anything."
"Why was Shakespeare always a good teammate to have? Because no matter the sport, he would always play write"