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Joke of the Day

"Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought."

"hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume"

"I decided to live at the gym, it was free! Because of squatter's rights."

"What is the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before eating it."

"A man once asked Gandhi what he thought of western civilization. Ghandi replied ''I think it would be a good idea.''"

"she loves me [takes bite of hotdog] she loves me not [takes another bite of hotdog]"

"What did the cow say... What did the cow say when she jumped over the barbed wire fence? ""I'm udderly ruined!"" credit: my grandma, at every party she's ever been to"

"Plastic Surgery I loaned a friend 5000 to get plastic surgery last week... I'll never get the money back, I dunno what he looks like now."

"I'm so proud of my African pen pal friend. He tells me he hasn't had a drink in weeks. I'm so glad, he's staying sober."

"Who says Republicans aren't into recycling? Mitt Romney's thinking of running for President, again."