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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me she almost choked on her birth control this morning. It looks like it almost did it's job."

"Potatoes are high in carbs. 'Baked' potatoes are just high."

"What do you call a fish with no eye's? a fsh"

"Skinny= Anorexic Thick= Obese. Virgin= Too good. Non-Virgin= Slut. Friendly= Fake. Quiet= Rude. It seems like you can never please society"

"I saw my sister watching the show ""Dexter"" yesterday.. I thought it was a pretty weird show, but then again, I have seen stranger things on Netflix."

"It was hard to come to terms with the death of my wife, but eventually the assassin and I agreed on a fee."

"Ordered a pumpkin spice latte this morning and now I have bangs and work at Anthropologie."

"There are only 10 types of people in this world... (probable repost) the ones who understand binary code and he ones who don't"

"After years of searching, scientists have finally found the gene for shyness... ...hiding behind two other genes."

"Girl you're like a car accident, cause I just can't look away."