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Joke of the Day
"how do you reference your local humane society on twitter? ""##"""
Next Joke
"[swirls, sniffs and sips red wine] Yes, this is delicious. I will have a glass. Ma'am, this is a church, let go of the cup and sit down."
"[Interview] ""Tell me your weaknesses"" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th"
"My white cat has been beating up my black cat a lot lately so I guess he's been reading the news and knows he won't get punished for it."
"What's the difference between a wife and a dog? The later you get home, the happier one is to see you"
"If it weren't for double standards, some people would have no standards at all."
"Touched by Jesus Great words to hear in church, not so great to hear in a Mexican prison."
"Yo Mama Chain Yo mama so stupid, she sat on the T.V, and watched the couch!"
"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."
"guys calm down squirrels invented parkour"