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Joke of the Day

"I met Jay-Z in '09 and he said ""Meet my fiance, Beyonce"" and I was like ""That rhymes, you should rap!"" and we laughed and he sold me crack."

"I stand at airplane arrival gates with a ""SAMANTHA"" sign, then cry after everyone's exited until airport security brings me soup. Free soup!"

"There's a song about dancing like Uma Thurman, but not about dancing like Gaston. No one dances like Gaston!"

"How does a Muslim get a hot date? He puts it in the microwave. EDIT: Looks like you guys are real dim...."

"My daughter got a sticker from her teacher that said 'resilient tortoise.' I've sent her in with one to give in return, 'patronizing hippo.'"

"If a giant capture you and me and made a smoothie out of us, what would it taste like? It would taste like ""just us""."

"How do you know if someone's a feminist? They have an AK and they plan to kill all men. /shittyjoke\"

"What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White? Shaking Bad."

"Macbeth.docx That's a play on word"

"Which government organization is involved with protecting Area 51? The C.I.ayy"