203905

Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat... When she poops, her shit colides with the water and creates legible gravitional waves through space and time."

"Descartes walks into a bar... The bartender asked if he wanted a drink. Descartes said ""I think not!"" ....and promptly disappeared."

"Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one? A retail store."

"Q: What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? A: Fred."

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"A man entered 10 puns into a pun contest. When he called in to ask if any of his puns won the contest, the organizer told him, ""No pun in ten did."""

"Do you like water? Yes? Well, then you already like 60% to 70% of me."

"So I walked into a bank with a bag of weed to deposit... The teller asked, ""what are you doing?"" I said, ""I wish to open a joint account!"""

"This joke is best told with a german accent Why did my grandfather cross the road? -to occupy France"

"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"