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Joke of the Day

"Urgent!!!! hey! I'm sending this message via internet explorer so it might be slow... but quick! There is a plane heading for the twin towers! call somebody before it is too"

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"Duct Tape Won't Fix Stupid. But it will gag the sound."
"""Just because you Can't dance, doesn't mean you Shouldn't dance."" Alcohol."
"I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?"
"How many lightbulbs does it take to change a lightbulb??"
"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermid, it's too long."
"I'm Scottish and my son is marrying a Jewish girl. I'm afraid their kids will leave me penniless."
"Me: Help! i need my stomach pumped. 911 Operator: Did you ingest poison, ma'am? Me: No. Pizza."
"Like most people my age... I'm 27."
"What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes? ""It's all in the execution."""