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Joke of the Day

"What is the fastest insect in the World? ""Lice"" Why? ... Because it is latching on a running Cheetah."

"Thanks iPhone autocorrect, I'm sure my dad wanted to know that I miss going on our weekend fisting trips."

"911, what's your emergency? What do you mean you've been stabbed? People can't do that, that's illegal."

"How do you make a witch pregnant? Fuck her!"

"What does the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's offensive to talk about."

"Don't you hate it when you're running on a treadmill and then your butt gets really itchy and then you over-share on the internet?"

"I'm not Racist I love blacks, I think everyone should have one."

"I made a belt out of $100 Bills. It's a waist of money."

"Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine."

"My favourite porn category is the one where girls quote 19th century Irish writers Girls Gone Wilde."